Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
