Need sex. Gaining weight.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Banned from zoo.
Again?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
