I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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