I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
