So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
