Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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