my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
