I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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