Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
