this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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