This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm passing your future prison.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
