I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Randomize
