you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
