I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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