Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
