He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You don't make any sense
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