Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Randomize
