DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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