is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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