We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
