So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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