Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Are we still banned from the library?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
