I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
