I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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