I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
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