Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
