Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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