For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
