So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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