you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
