on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Semen is not good for contacts.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Randomize
