then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
