next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
