You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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