i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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