Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize