Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
