True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
