Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
