when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
