The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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