i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
