Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
