ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
it's like iHOP with fire
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
