we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
