I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
