there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
