i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
