Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
