I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
