lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I am one with the molecules
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
