i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
