I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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