if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
