SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
